I Have No Organs and Sound Like Tom Waits

I have no more organs. I coughed them all up.
I am the sickest sod in the history of ever and would like to be put into a coma right now.
Thankfully, I just had some NyQuil so my wish should be granted in about 20 minutes.

My phlegm is all kinds of yellow. That could be from the sickness or the Chinese food I ate.
My entire head is a compressed inflatable ball that's being sat on so my eyes feel like they're about to be launched through their sockets and my head will be slowly removed via melonscoop.
My body has been metaphorically pelted by large stones varying in sizes.
My hands have a small rash which is just a tad bit bothersome.
My nose could not be lubricated any more than it is already.

It's a bitch to smoke but having a cold does allow me to be bitchy on places I would want to be bitchy regardless of my health. There are times when Jess acts inexplicably rude when she's on the phone with me (interrupting me to yell at the dogs, talk to her roommate at length) and today when I called her and she answered, she told me to hold on and continued to argue with Rachel, leaving me to hear about their apartment woes. I hung up the phone and took a small nap.

NyQuil's kicking in. Time to have something soothing for my throat and a big sleep.